The Perfect Crime

“Scottsboro Police Department, how may I help you?”    “Yes,”  Selena hesitated.  “Ma’am ma’am, you’ll have to speak up,”  the dispatcher said on the other line.  “Yes,” Selena began again.  “I would like to report a missing person,” she managed this time.  “O.k. ma’am, who is the missing person,” the dispatcher asked.  “My husband,” Selena stated firmly.

Selena finished with her phone call to the police department turned to face Michael‘s family who were in her living room waiting impatiently.  “Well, what did they say,” asked his mother.  “They thought it was funny,”  Selena stated matter of fact.  They advised me that Michael was no more missing than a man in the moon.  That he’s either off somewhere drinking or layed up with some whore.  “Can you believe that,”  his mother asked outraged.  Selena shrugged her shoulders, “they’re probably right.”  Selena walked past her mother in law and into her kitchen where she began washing dishes.  His mom and his sisters began filing out, “well you let me know if you hear from him.”  Selena nodded her head yes never taking her eyes off the view from the window as she washed the last dish.  The view off the bluff was so pretty this time of year.  The leaves were beginning to change into vibrant colors of yellow and red.  The air was cool on the mountain at night but just right during the day.  It was a lovely time to be outside.

She thought she heard the baby crying.  She went into the nursery where he continued to sleep peacefully.  She picked her beautiful baby boy up anyway and sat down in the rocking chair.  She held him close while singing softly to him.  She rocked for hours before she lay him in the bed with her.  “Everything is alright now,” she whispered.  Exhausted, she had no problem falling off right to sleep.

It was time for Selena to return to work.  Her maternity leave was over.  The thought of leaving her precious little Jake for the day caused her nausea.  She was so happy when her grandmother said she would keep him and thankful.  She dreaded all the questions from co-workers about Michael.  She knew by now the town knew that he was missing.  She figured they thought the same as the police.  She would face the humiliation in the morning.

When Selena heard the alarm clock ringing, she was already dressed and ready for work.  She walked down the hall to turn it off.  Walking past the window into her bedroom she saw the sheriffs car pulling down her long drive.  She had expected this but not this soon.  Selena opened the door.  The sheriff walked up and asked, “Are you Selena Gray.”  “Yes,” she answered.  “Ms Gray, I’m afraid I have some bad news,” the sheriff stepped inside the front door without her asking him too.  “No,”  she managed as she begin to cry.  “Selena do you have family you can call to come and be with you,” the other officer asked.  “Yes,” she was still crying.  “Can you give me a number and I will call them for you,” Selena gave them her grandmothers phone number.  “Selena when was the last time you saw your husband,” he asked.  Selena began to recount the story of the night before to the officers.

Thursday night we had a terrible fight.  He wanted to carry me out for a night on the town he had said.  I have a new baby the last thing I wanted to do was leave my baby boy.  But Michael wasn’t hearing it.  He was drinking and he called my grandmother to ask her to babysit she agreed.  Friday night at 6pm, michael still wasn’t here.  7pm and still no Michael.  I was so angry.  At 9p.m., I heard a terrible noise.  It was him.  He was so drunk he jumped the ditch onto our road and came flying down the driveway turning 3 doughnuts so close to the edge of the bluff I thought he was sure to drive off it.  The last one he parked his truck but I never heard him turn the truck off.  I was so angry and hurt.  I left him out there.  The next morning I looked outside but did not see him in the truck.  I walked outside –no Michael.  I walked around the entire house still no Michael.  “I didn’t know what had happened to him but when it came to him I never knew what was going to happen next.  I figured he was laid up somewhere or on another binge.  He left one weekend to go get cigarettes and ended up in Panama City for the week.  I wouldn’t have reported him missing when I did had it not been for his mom.”  The sheriff nodded.  By this time, her grandmother was there sitting beside her.  “What happened,” Selena asked the officer.  Softly, she began to cry again. ” His body was found at the bottom of the bluff out here,” the officer said.  “Deer hunting,” Selena said softly.  “He liked to look for deer off the edge of the bluff,” she said quietly.  The officer added,” it was a deer hunter who called and reported finding the body.”

Selena’s grandmother let the officers out the door, she chattered away but Selena wasn’t listening.  Selena was smiling inside.   Selena was finally free from the abuse both physical and emotional.  “Free!  Free!”  She said silently to herself.  Selena thought of that morning when she was washing dishes after having left Michael passed out in his truck.  She had seen him standing at the edge of the bluff with his back to her and she remembered thinking, “you know I could walk up behind him, push him over the edge and people would think he was out there drunk and looking for deer and fell.”  The next thing she was aware of was that she was standing behind him as she gave her husband a shove.  She stood there for a moment in silence.  She thought about every time he had ever cheated, humiliated, hit her, ridiculed her in front of people, and all the lies she had told to cover up for him when he gave her black eyes or left bruises on her body.  She wasn’t sad.  She wasn’t sad at all.  It had been the perfect crime.

A Letter To You

Thoughts of you consume my mind.  I can’t seem to do anything else.  Different scenes from days gone by.  We parted.  Yet, my love for you still lasts.  I have tried so hard to make myself believe that I did not love you anymore.  I tried to make myself believe that my love had turned to hate.  I tried so hard to forget your face in the faces of another.  Three years later, I sat alone and wondered if you knew I left.  Did you know that I still loved you?  What if for one of us tomorrow did not come and I never got to tell you?  I wrote you a letter.  I told you that my love for you was still as strong as it was in the beginning.  I told you I did not leave you because I wanted another.  I told you that I left you because I could no longer take the pain of watching you leave to go home to another.  Six long years of broken promises that shattered my heart to pieces.  I told you that maybe it was not fair that I expected you to begin your life anew.  Maybe that was not what you wanted to do at your age.    Though, I thought myself and our daughter deserved to have you to ourselves.  After the anger subsided and time healed my pain, I thought it unfair of me to expect you to begin again so I walked away and it’s o.k.  We talked and talked.  You spent the night and as we laid down to sleep with your arms around me.  Silently, I began to cry because your arms around me felt as good as it always did.  I had missed that even more than I knew.  The days that followed felt so good.  Then, I received that phone call from a friend telling me that tragic news.  I was faced with never seeing you ever again.  I prayed for God to allow more time.  I thank God because he did and to our God I am so grateful.  All our problems that angered me in the past suddenly seemed so petty as compared to a world with out you.  Let us make the most of time we have left to get it right this time.  I love you and you love me.  Let us make God proud and be a family with the daughter we created.  If we do not show our daughter, I’m afraid she will never know what it is like to have her mother and father together.  It is our time to live and to love and to give her what she has not seen – a family.  For when you leave this world for good, I know there will never be another.  No one could ever take your place or ever begin to fill your shoes.  Why must we continue to live a lie apart when we know we could be living in love together!

Love Always,

Me